In peace, children inter their parents; war violates the order of nature and causes parents to inter their children.

To be a successful father… there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years.

One race there is of men, one of gods, but from one mother we both draw our breath.

Few sons are equal to their fathers; most fall short, all too few surpass them. 

A Jewish man with parents alive is a fifteen-year-old boy, and will remain a fifteen-year-old boy till they die!

Families, I hate you! Shut-in homes, closed doors, jealous possessions of happiness.

God is our father, but even more is God our mother.

Family! Thou art the home of all social evil, a charitable institution for comfortable women, an anchorage for house-fathers, and a hell for children.

Familiarity breeds contempt—and children.

There is not much less vexation in the government of a private family than in the managing of an entire state.

The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children.