2020:

An outdoor gender-reveal party in California sparks a wildfire.

1500 BC:

Ancient Egyptian women visit a field of grain daily to determine their babies’ gender.

2020:

Rooster fined 166 euros for early morning crowing in Italian town.

1474:

Rooster questioned for laying egg, perhaps at the behest of Satan.

2020:

Exoplanet revealed to be nothing but a large cloud of dust.

1903:

Supposed irrigation canals on Mars are merely optical illusions.

2020:

A fifty-pence piece celebrates Brexit without Oxford’s punctuation mark.

1897:

A monument remembers the Battle of Trenton sans punctuation.

2019:

Seal helps stop an alleged international drug gang.

1918:

Dog bites man, stops robbery.

2019:

Radical life extensionists trust science to cure death.

1786:

A doctor mines the habits of history’s long-lived for tips.

2019:

Voters unable to buy milkshakes to throw at Nigel Farage.

1885:

Voters throw rotten eggs at Queen Victoria’s son-in-law.

2019:

Canadian prime minister eats chocolate, must apologize.

1896:

Canadian members of Parliament work late, sing songs, throw paper.