It is noble to die before doing anything that deserves death.

There is no man so fortunate that there shall not be by him when he is dying some who are pleased with what is going to happen.

A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest.

The play is the tragedy “Man,” And its hero the conqueror worm.

I don’t believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Anyone who’s never watched somebody die is suffering from a pretty bad case of virginity.

The life of the dead consists in the recollection cherished of them by the living.

I’m doomed to die, right? Why should I care if I go to Hades either with gout in my leg or a runner’s grace? Plenty of people will carry me there.

Life is a farce, and should not end with a mourning scene.

Epitaph, n. An inscription on a tomb, showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.

You are dust, and to dust you shall return.

I order that my funeral ceremonies be extremely modest, and that they take place at dawn or at the evening Ave Maria, without song or music.

What is death? A scary mask. Take it off—see, it doesn’t bite.