If you steal, do not steal too much at a time. You may be arrested. Steal cleverly, little by little.

Grow your tree of falsehood from a small grain of truth.

Honesty, for me, is usually the worst policy imaginable.

Your piping-hot lie is the best of lies.

If you find excrement somewhere in the village, the chief was the one who put it there.

Alongside all swindlers the state now stands there as swindler-in-chief.

In most cases men willingly believe what they wish.

We have to distrust each other. It is our only defense against betrayal.

An honest man is all right even if he’s an idiot…but a crook must have brains.

There is much difference between imitating a good man, and counterfeiting him.