Be temperate in wine, in eating, girls, and sloth, or the Gout will seize you.

The only places where American medicine can fully live up to its possibilities are the teaching hospitals.

If a patient is poor, he is committed to a public hospital as “psychotic”; if he can afford the luxury of a private sanitarium, he is put there with the diagnosis of “neurasthenia”; if he is wealthy enough to be isolated in his own home under constant watch of nurses and physicians, he is simply an indisposed “eccentric.”

The poets did well to conjoin music and medicine, because the office of medicine is but to tune the curious harp of man’s body.

Keep away from physicians. It is all probing and guessing and pretending with them. They leave it to nature to cure in her own time, but they take the credit. As well as very fat fees.

He is the best physician who is the most ingenious inspirer of hope.

There must be quite a few things a hot bath won’t cure, but I don’t know many of them.

All pain is one malady with many names.

Well now, there’s a remedy for everything except death.

When the physician said to him, “You have lived to be an old man,” he said, “That is because I never employed you as my physician.”

A miracle drug is any drug that will do what the label says it will do.

How many desolate creatures on the earth have learnt the simple dues of fellowship and social comfort in a hospital.

The best physician is he who can distinguish the possible from the impossible.