Yogi Berra

Aphorisms,

 c. 1965

The other teams could make trouble for us if they win. 

You can’t think and hit at the same time. 

Slump? I ain’t in a slump. I just ain’t hitting. 

I usually take a two-hour nap from one to four.

If you can’t imitate him, don’t copy him.

90 percent of the game is half mental.

I knew the record would stand until it was broken.

You can observe a lot by watching.

It ain’t over till it’s over. 

We made too many wrong mistakes.

It’s déjà vu all over again.

I really didn’t say everything I said.

Charles Barkley

Commentary,

 c. 1993

I think the team that wins game five will win the series. Unless we lose game five.

I don’t hate anyone, at least not for more than forty-eight minutes, barring overtime. 

We don’t need refs, but I guess white guys need something to do.

You should be able to go and pick out one fan a game and beat the hell out of him.

I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I’ve got a technique. It’s called just go get the damn ball.

I am not a role model. I am not paid to be a role model. I am paid to wreak havoc on the basketball court. Parents should be role models. Just because I dunk a basketball doesn’t mean I should raise your kids.

I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating. I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character.

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