2001 | Sardinia

Stairway to Heaven

A birthday bash brought to you by Tyco.

Guests arrive at the club starting at 7:15 p.m. The van pulls up to the main entrance. Two gladiators are standing next to the door; one opens the door, the other helps the guests. We have a lion or horse with a chariot for the shock value. The guests proceed through the two rooms. We have gladiators standing guard every couple feet, and they are lining the way. The guests come into the pool area, the band is playing, they are dressed in elegant chic. Big ice sculpture of David, lots of shellfish and caviar at his feet. A waiter is pouring Stoli vodka into his back so it comes out his penis into a crystal glass. Waiters are passing cocktails in chalices. They are dressed in linen togas with fig wreaths on heads. A full bar with fabulous linens. The pool has floating candles and flowers. We have rented fig trees with tiny lights everywhere to fill some space. 8:30 the waiters instruct that dinner is served. The tables are all family-style with the main table in front. The tables have incredible linens with chalices as wineglasses. The food is brought out course by course, family-style, lots of wine, and it’s starting to get dark. Everyone is nicely buzzed, LDK [Kozlowski] gets up and has a toast for K [his wife, Karen].

Everyone is jumping from table to table. E Cliff has continued to play light music through dinner. They kick it up a bit. We start the show of pictures on the screen, great background music in sync with the slides. At the end, Elvis is on the screen wishing K a happy birthday and apologizing that he could not make it. It starts to fade, and Elvis is on stage and starts singing happy birthday with the Swingdogs. A huge cake is brought out with the waiters in togas singing and holding the cake up for all to see. The tits explode, Elvis kicks it in full throttle. Waiters are passing wine, after dinner drinks, and there is dancing. 11:30 light show starts. HBK [“Happy Birthday Karen”] is displayed on mountain, fireworks coming from both ends of the golf course in sync with music. Swingdogs start up and the night is young.

About This Text

From a company memo describing the birthday party for the wife of Dennis Kozlowski, former CEO of Tyco International. Four years after financing his wife’s fortieth birthday party with company money, Kozlowski was convicted of embezzling more than $400 million.