“There were very few beauties,” wrote Jane Austen to her sister about a party she attended in 1800. The two Miss Maitlands had “a good deal of nose”; the General, “the gout”; Mrs. Maitland, “the jaundice”; and regarding Susan, Sally, and Miss Debary, Austen was “as civil to them as their bad breath would allow.”

Though described by Suetonius as having a “fat neck” and “potbelly,” Nero competed at the Olympics in 67, in the chariot race. He fell out of his vehicle and failed to finish but paid hefty bribes to the judges and secured first place.

Swordfish, perhaps the world’s fastest swimmers, secrete performance-enhancing grease from the base of their swords that helps them swim at an estimated sixty-two miles per hour. “This isn’t ordinary fish slime,” said a researcher in 2016.