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I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

—Mitch Hedberg, 1999

Alcohol is the monarch of liquids.

—Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, 1825

Drink today and drown all sorrow; / You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow.

—John Fletcher, 1625

Drunkenness is the very sepulcher / Of man’s wit and his discretion.

—Geoffrey Chaucer, c. 1390

There was a great deal of drinking among us but little drunkenness. We all seemed to feel that Prohibition was a personal affront and that we had a moral duty to undermine it.

—Elizabeth Anderson, 1969

Drinking with women is as unnatural as scolding with ’em.

—William Wycherley, 1675

The drunken man is a living corpse.

—St. John Chrysostom, c. 390

People who’ve drunk neat wine don’t care a damn.

—Hipponax, c. 550 BC

That which the sober man keeps in his breast, the drunken man lets out at the lips. Astute people, when they want to ascertain a man’s true character, make him drunk.

—Martin Luther, 1569

As far as I can see, the history of experimental art in the twentieth century is intimately bound up with the experience of intoxification.

—Will Self, 1994

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