Wednesday, October 1st, 2014
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1979 / Texas

Breakfast of Champions

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I like to eat breakfast alone, and almost never before noon; anybody with a terminally jangled lifestyle needs at least one psychic anchor every twenty-four hours, and mine is breakfast. In Hong Kong, Dallas, or at home—and regardless of whether or not I have been to bed—breakfast is a personal ritual that can only be properly observed alone, and in a spirit of genuine excess. The food factor should always be massive: four Bloody Marys, two grapefruits, a pot of coffee, Rangoon crêpes, a half-pound of either sausage, bacon, or corned-beef hash with diced chilies, a Spanish omelette or eggs Benedict, a quart of milk, a chopped lemon for random seasoning, and something like a slice of key lime pie, two margaritas and six lines of the best cocaine for dessert…Right, and there should also be two or three newspapers, all mail and messages, a telephone, a notebook for planning the next twenty-four hours, and at least one source of good music…all of which should be dealt with outside, in the warmth of a hot sun, and preferably stone naked.

©1979 by Hunter S. Thompson. Used with permission of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

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About the Author

Hunter S. Thompson, from The Great Shark Hunt. After being discharged from the Air Force in 1957, Thompson wrote for various publications, among them the bowling magazine El Sportivo and The National Observer. He published Hell’s Angels in 1967 and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas in 1972, the latter making his gonzo journalism famous. He died in 2005 at the age of sixty-seven from a self-inflicted bullet wound.

American table manners are, if anything, a more advanced form of civilized behavior than the Europeans, because they are more complicated and further removed from the practical result, always a sign of refinement.
Miss Manners, 1982
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